Butternut Squash Bowling
by DryadSpeaks
Summary: Spinoff from "All My Dreams" Chapter 32 and "The Smile on Your Face" Chapter 15.  Artie invents a new sport...Butternut Squash Bowling.  I think the title speaks for itself on this one.


Artie loved fall. He loved the colours. The smell of the leaves. It was sweater weather.

Another thing that was high on his list of things he loved about fall was squash. Every year, his mom would grow a couple of different kinds...usually butternut, and something else. This year, she grew red hubbard squash. She bought the plants at a farmer's market, so she wasn't really sure what she was getting, but everyone was thrilled when the turned out to be relatively round, and dark orange.

They were also hard as rocks. Artie's dad had taken an axe to the first one after almost breaking a kitchen knife, and it was clear that, unless they softened up a bit with age, this was how it was going to have to be each time.

When the time came for all the squash to be picked, Artie's mom lined them up in the yard, so everyone could see how many there were. She lost count at 38, but she knew there were at least 50, maybe more.

When Artie saw how many there were, he had an idea: butternut squash bowling.

It was the perfect afternoon for it. Sunny, crisp, and dry. He dragged Quinn into the back yard, and presented her with his idea.

"...Butternut squash bowling? As in...line up a bunch of squash, and then bowl them down with another squash?"

He got an excited, and slightly crazed look in his eyes.

"YES! It has the potential to be the most awesome and epically amazing new sport of the century!"

She could tell her was getting a bit carried away, but it was completely harmless, so she went along with it. What else could she do?

She decided that, if this was the kind of thing that got Artie THAT excited, she needed to get him out more.

Then again...maybe not. Maybe things like this were part of his charm.

After watching Artie struggle to move his chair through the thick grass for a moment, she walked over to him.

"Stay here. I'll go down there and line them up, and then you can tell me if they're straight. You can see better from further away."

She knew if she told him she'd do it because it was clear he was having difficulties he'd get annoyed, and she thought her logic made sense. She was glad when he agreed.

Artie, of course, was perfectly aware of why she said she would do it, but he didn't say anything. He had a lot of pride, but her way of thinking was right...they would probably still be there the next evening if they waited for him to struggle his way through the grass. He usually stayed on the paved path, so it wasn't a problem, but he didn't think squash bowling on the path would be a good idea...the grass would be softer, and he wanted to eat the squash afterwards, so they couldn't be bruised or broken.

"A little to the left. No, the other left! Wait...right! Left! Close enough."

Once he was satisfied, she grabbed a couple of the red squash, and brought them to where he was sitting.

"Ok, now for the rules. In butternut squash bowling, there are no rules."

Quinn giggled.

"The goal? Knock over the butternuts with the hubbard. 10 points for every one you knock over, and an extra 50 if you knock them all down in one try."

She grinned mischievously.

"Aren't those rules? What happened to 'there are no rules?'"

"Well, there have to be some rules. Otherwise we're just a couple of people throwing vegetables at other vegetables. What I meant was...there are no formal rules. No rule book."

At this, Quinn burst out laughing.

"I can see it now...the Artie Abrams Book of Butternut Squash Bowling Rules and Regulations. Would you autograph my copy?"

Artie joined her laughter.

"You wouldn't need a copy...you have the original! Ok...down to business. Why don't you go first?"

Quinn took hold of the smallest of the red squash. They had tried rolling them on the grass to make sure it would actually work, and it did. On her first try, she knocked down all the squash.

"YAY!" she cried, jumping up and down before running across the yard to right the toppled vegetables.

Artie marked down her points on the little notepad he had sitting in his lap, and got ready to take his turn. When she was out of the way, he rolled his squash.

"Two? Artie, you're going to have to do better than that, or I'm going to beat you!"

Artie grumbled something about her having beginner's luck, and marked down his points.

After close to an hour of losing, Artie decided it was time to end the game. Quinn had over 500 points. He had 250.

"There's no way I can catch up to you. I'd have to knock down all of them in my next four turns, and I haven't actually knocked them all down in one try at all, so I'm pretty sure that's not happening. Plus, you'd have to give me those four turns without taking any yourself...and that's not part of the rules."

Quinn laughed.

"You're the one who told me there are no rules! Artie...are you a sore loser?"

"No. I just don't see the point in continuing, when it's clear that you've beaten my ass. Plus, it's starting to get dark."

Just as Artie finished that thought, his mom walked out into the back yard, and announced that dinner was almost ready. She asked Quinn if she would like to stay, and Quinn said yes, she would just check with her mother to make sure it was alright.

"Oh, and could you guys please put those squash in the shed? It might rain tonight, and I don't want them to get wet."

Quinn and Artie got to work, putting away the squash. After a failed attempt at Artie piling several on his lap and wheeling himself, Quinn piled more of them on top of him, and got behind his chair, pushing him to the small shed in the corner of the yard.

After several trips, all the squash were put away.

"Here...take these home with you. We're going to be eating squash forever! You might as well have some too!"

Quinn took the squash from him, and they headed towards the house.

"Oh Quinn, I'm glad you've got some squash...I meant to tell you to help yourself. We're going to be eating squash forever!"

Quinn smiled at the fact that Artie and his mom said exactly the same thing to her. They even used the same tone of voice and the same hand gestures. It was just too cute.

Dinner was amazing. Artie's mom had made pasta stuffed with butternut squash and pecans, which she served with chicken, a salad, and freshly-baked buns. Quinn could not get over how delicious it was, and made sure to get the pasta recipe before she left.

After dinner, Artie and Quinn (and Quinn's squash) were sitting on the porch, looking up at the stars. It was beautifully clear out.

"I should probably go. I still have a couple of things to do, and all that bowling wore me out!"

"That was fun. You do realize I'm going to have to practice at least three hours every day just so I can beat you next time, don't you?"

Quinn looked over, pretending to be scandalized.

"I KNEW you were a sore loser! You just can't stand to have someone beat you, can you?"

Artie shifted slightly.

"No. I will admit...I do like to win. It makes me feel self-important. Or something. I don't know why, but I've spent so much time feeling like a loser, that I think I should win at everything. Obviously I know I'm not a loser, because I'm awesome, but you know..."

Quinn smiled.

"Would a consolation prize help heal your bruised ego?"

"That depends on what it is."

Quinn leaned in, and placed her lips firmly on his.

After she pulled away, he looked at her, and said "Yes, that definitely helped. I think I might need another one to finish up the healing."

After obliging to his request, Quinn leaned in towards his ear, and whispered "I love you. Goodnight."

Then she stood up, picked up her squash, and headed for home.


End file.
